it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
