I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
