I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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