At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
