I think my vagina is haunted
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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