I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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