Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
