If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
