Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How's work?
Spinning.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
