Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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