I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
