So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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