I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
