At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
