And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
