I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
