i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
