He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
