You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
