I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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