Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
