i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
