..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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