You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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