You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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