did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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