fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
