you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
