Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
