What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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