No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
