she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
