ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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