We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
