Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
