I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
