the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
