Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
