maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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