She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
