Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
