If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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