Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
