your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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