So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize