Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
