Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
