Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
