He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
