Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
