What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize