she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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