Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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