I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
