I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
