I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
