The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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