Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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