Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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