I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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