Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
