So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
