im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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