apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
