Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize