Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
