I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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