at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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