I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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