Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
