did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize